Dear MELI,
My word for 2023 is kindness. My question is, how can I be kind in an unkind world?
Yours,
Hopeful
Dear Hopeful,
Your question reminded me of the butterfly effect. Are you familiar with it? Not the sci fi movie or the linear mathematical definition, but the root of the concept. You may have heard of it: If a butterfly flaps its wings in India that tiny change in air pressure could impact the weather in Ohio. In other words, the belief that small changes can make a big impact.
This is what I thought of when I read your kindness question. That if you, Hopeful, can make tiny changes within yourself, that could make big changes in your world. And if each of us could make tiny changes within ourselves, that could make big changes in the world as a whole.
And I agree with you that the key, Hopeful, is kindness. If I could go back to parent teacher conferences with my kids’ elementary teachers when they sat me down to talk to me about reading, writing and arithmetic I’d interrupt and ask – yes, but is he kind? And not just kind to others, but to himself?
And here’s why, Hopeful. The answer to all of the questions we all ask starts within. If each of us can learn to be kind, soft, compassionate and empathetic to ourselves the impact of that would truly be felt around the world. But we can’t make others be kind, trying to make others do anything is a one-way road down disappointment street. We can instead practice, model and project the kindness we’d like to have in our own personal orbits.
We each need to start with ourselves and show great kindness there first. How do you do this, Hopeful? Forgive yourself, daily. Again and again, for each human misstep and mistake you make, meet it with kindness. It takes practice to lead with kindness internally, but the effects can be wholly transformational. Radiate kindness in your thoughts, words and actions you speak to yourself and to others. Integrate kindness into your affirmations and journaling. Make it your mantra this year: I radiate kindness and love and in return I receive kindness and love. Lead with kindness and kindness will lead you.
Not everyone will notice or care, but some will. Some will pick up on that kind energy you are radiating and take it into themselves, and then it will start to spread from them, too. And that’s how you help make this world more kind, Hopeful. Begin with yourself, always. Then watch the butterfly effect take it from there.
xo,
MELI